This post, I guess, will be abit sentimental. Perhaps some of my readers would want to skip this. For those who wished to read on, I pray you bear with me.
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4th February 2011,
The date were I saw a good friend of mine walked past those gates, flight ticket in hand. Standing outside the 'international departure' hall of Penang International Airport, I couldn't help but feel bad. I can't believe that a really good friend of mine that had been with me through primary school and high school, now leaving for Australia. It seriously felt like a dream and that my eyes seemed dazed all those times. But reality struck me real hard. There I was, keeping my eyes fixed on him as he walked through the customs to prepare for boarding. Eventually, I was forced to take my eyes off him as he disappeared around a corner. Though I succeeded in holding back my tears but deep inside I knew I'm already missing you as you stepped into the departure hall. It seemed that it couldn't be helped, I hope you understand.
Not to say I won't be meeting you again. But I knew that I didn't expect to see the day I would see someone I shared alot of my good and bad times with leaving before my eyes. My conscience didn't stop pounding me with advices. It helped me stopped my tears, but it didn't help me stop feeling bad about it. I didn't want to break down in front of anyone, much less his family and friends. So I put on a smiling face, cracked jokes, but wishing that time of departure would crept as slowly as possible, eventhough I knew full well it won't. I have so many things I still wanna share with you but I guess I'll have to let it slide, at least this time.
I admit, sometimes, its just not easy to let go. I guess this must be how parents feel as they see their children leaving before their eyes.
God.. I knew this post will be totally awkward.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to make anyone feel as sad as I do when writing this post. But for me, if I didn't share how I felt, I don't think I can hold it in very long. Knowing myself, I usually express myself freely. I hope you understand that I don't mean anything too special by saying I really do miss you, and I really do. I really couldn't help myself, and this is one way or another that I might be able to let you know. But even if it doesn't, at least I know I've tried. Don't think otherwise, I only, and only miss you being around us. I guess many things would change without you here. And I guess its for the better too. Really.. I know this post screams emo everywhere, but I seriously hope you think nothing more or less of me other than a friend who cares. And that's all that matters.
Hey Eric~ If you just so happen to read this. I assure you that we're all doing just fine here in Penang. Like I said, things would change here, but it'll never be for the worse. I apologize for not being able to organize a proper farewell party to show our gratitude to you before you leave. The news you were leaving so early hit me too sudden as well. I hope you understand. I know that writing this post might make you feel embarrassed. Trust me, I am just as embarrassed as you are when writing this. I really had to pull on some courage, letting it publicly known and all, you know.. But I guess its also safe to say that words aren't enough to describe this feeling of mine. A feeling of longing for you to continue staying here and enjoy your time with us. But I also know full well you have to leave. Even so, saying just a simple 'goodbye' to you as you stepped into the departure hall just doesn't cut out for me. I really wanted to run over to you and hug you and not let go until I'm satisfied. It is selfish I know, I won't deny that fact. Its a good thing God had mercy on me for giving me self-control over that. Otherwise that scene of me hugging you just speaks wrong in many different ways. Like LOL.
But anyways, the main thing is I wanna let you know that you will be missed. Ugh sorry.. I couldn't believe I actually cried now. But that aside, I also want you to know that we'll be okay. Soon I'll be the one to step through the gate as well as you did, looking forward to new adventures and challenges. Haha, I guess it must've been exciting to see a new beginning flashing before your eyes. A life of independency. Though I hope you know how to differenciate right from wrong. I'll be looking forward to see the day I'll be meeting you for an outing or two in Australia. That I promise you. :)
I gotta stop writing this so I do not embarrass you any further. I'm feeling disorientated as well. So pardon some misused of words or sentences. I wouldn't dare to call myself your best friend. So this is a letter from a good friend of yours to you. It held all my wishes and my prayers for you. Be well and stay safe. God be with you wherever and whenever you are. Remember, his name is Emmanuel - God with us. He'll never leave nor forsake you. You will be in my prayers always.
God Bless you..
Sign,
A Good Friend.
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